wvqt's Xanga

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Wed, 03 May 2006 00:02:53 GMT

~For, while the tale of how we struggle, and how we are delighted, and how we triumph is never new, it always must be heard. There isn't any other tale to tell, it's the only light we've got in all this darkness.~

Okay. Well, it's been almost a year so I figure I should post a new update.

A lot has went on. I mean a lot. Got pretty serious with a guy last semester and even most of this one. For those of you who know me well, know I never get serious.. But it didn't work out. It wasn't God's will for us to be together... and that's okay.

I'm kickin' butt in school! I'm soo glad some things are going my way right now. And I took my last final today. praise god. it's over.

I can't wait to come home for the summer. Because with my degree , who knows where I'll be next year.. prolly Kansas or Utah or Montana..or some strange state 5000 miles away from my friends.. but that's okay... adventure is always a blessing and a wonderful surprise, but for now, i want my close friends, close!

Friday, June 17, 2005

Fri, 17 Jun 2005 03:52:12 GMT

**Sometime's I'm my own worst enemy...**

Ya know, today has been one of my bad days... Marcus, thank's for being there to put me back on my feet again.

I just don't know when my dad is going to learn... or what I can ever possibly do to help him. I've tried. We've all tried. Maybe he just doesn't want to get better and to step up to be the dad in my life i want him to be, i need him to be that figure. I'm crying right now as "Walk a little straighter daddy" plays constantly in my mind. That song is my song. Word by word it plays true to most of my childhood,a nd even now.. as I'm getting older and maturing spiritually, his addiction never gets easier on me. I can deal with it now, but I don't accept it... I never will. I don't condone it either.

It has, however, made me a much stronger person. It takes a lot to uproot my system. It really does. It takes a lot to get me off track and unfocused, but once I get there, it's soo hard for me to get back on my own two feet again. This time, he's yanked me out of my stability and I just don't know what to do. God's here though.. holding my hand as I'm crying out.. not for myself, but for him. I'm certain no one *truly* wants to live their lives that way. I honestly hope no one would. I know he never meant to get this rooted in his addiction, but he did... It's hurt us all. Even though they're divorced, I know it still bothers my mom.. Not so much for him, but for seeing what he's done to me.

The song says "If i've learned one thing from him, its my kids will never have to say.." that's soo true. I'll never put my kids through this torment. It's exactly what it is.. I tried to keep it a secret so long...like it was somehow, someway my fault. It's not... it's not whatsoever. It doesn't take the hurt away anyless knowing that it isn't. But i know I did not cause this problem. I used to never open up about this, but here lately, I have been. It's been troubling my heart for the past couple of weeks. If you take anything out of this entry, take this: what you do, not only affects you.. but everyone you are close to.

He never set out to make my life bad. not to say it was... but it is a burden... it's a burden to know that I've tried soo many times to help and I've failed. I'm a failure in my own eyes... but in God's eyes, im an achiever

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 03:22:47 GMT

Brace yourselves.. it's gonna be a long one...

So, I've been thinkin' a lot about love and relationships lately. With the upcoming marriage of Duty and Sarah*congrats guys* to Chris and Charlotte among others in my graduating class to spending the weekend in Buckhannan with Adam and Abby, there's something about relationships I find intriging. Maybe it's because the only grown up one I've ever had was Kyle... I guess you could say Jacob, but we were so young when it first began.

How do these people know that they've found someone they can spend their entire lives with?????? It blows my mind. When I think about spending the rest of my life with someone, it scares the crap out of me, but now I'm wishing that person would just stroll right on up. And how do you know when your perfect match comes along? Does God send the perfect sign? Do you just *know*? What if you found him once before and the timing wasn't right...does it just come around again? And do you really need someone else to make your life complete??? Doesn't good relationships with friends and family, a successful career amount to anything.

BLAH BLAH BLAH

anyway, last weekend was wonderful in Buckhannan. I got to spend some time with lindsay, which was great. I also attended some AMAZING church services! it was great! me and dave talked ALOT about camp. I'm looking forward to that week. it will truly be a blessing.

i must go study now, my final is in the morning!

God Bless!

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 02:02:01 GMT

10 Names You Go By
    1. Meagan
    2. Meg
    3. Meggie
    4. Nutmeg

5. Trouble
    6. Country
    7. Ms. Meagan
    8. friend
    9. Girly Girl*my mom

    10. hey you

9 Things You Can't Live Without
    1. family
    2. God
    3. music
    4. friends
    5. my computer
    6.cell phone
    7. pictures
    8. capris
    9. flipflops

8 Of Your Favorite Foods
    1.Chicken and dumplings

    2. Spaghetti
    3. my mom's garlic chicken
    4. cantelope

    5. strawberries
    6. ice cream
    7. bread bread bread
    8. green beans

7 Of Your Favorite Memories From The Past Year

    1. the beach last summer with with my family
    2. Sex and the City parties Court and Ashley
    3. finding out my grades were good
    4. loosing weight (yay)
    5. winning my first national JMC award
    6. church camp..always
    7. NYC!! twice!!
6 People You Admire
    1. my MOM

    2. mammaw
    3. Richard*my preacher*
    4. Brenda
    5. Jacob..
    6. Beth (she's in med school...and done with her first year...thats something
        to admire)

5 Of Your Favorite Inside Jokes
    1. game face hahaa
   i'm not an inside joke type of gurl lol i tell it like it is.. no secrets!

4 Things You Just Can't Do
    1. play guitar... i've tried for years
    2. pat my head and rub my stomach
    3. give up when some obstacles seem impossible
    4. touch my nose with my tounge

3 Songs You Have Stuck In Your Head
    1. Who am I... Casting Crowns

    2. Black BETTY
    3. I wish I were an OScar Myer weiner

2 Of Your Favorite Mottos
    1. The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
    2. True friends stab you in the front.

Your Reason To Live
    1.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

Friday, June 03, 2005

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 01:03:41 GMT

This entry is for Tarn! =-) hehe i love ya gurlie!

anyway, not much is new in logan..is there ever? all i do is work, then to class then come home.. However, last night me and Carrie went to Man's game.. That was fun! I love Carrie! She'salways been there for me!

Anyway, I'm soo excited about camp now. Jay just informed me that he's our camp preacher this year. WOOOOOOT! For those of you who know about the never ending story of *Us*, you can fathom how excited I really am! And I'm not even sure anymore is there's an "Us" in the romantic sense, but I do know that he is and will always be my best friend. We have a rather odd relationship. We can sense when the other is down or going thru something. Never fails when I'm having a really bad day, without him knowing, he will call .. the first thing out of his mouth is what's wrong with you... I have the same feeling with him. it's great...

I'm definitely in aggreement with Tarn in that we need to have a 2 yr reunion. I miss you guys.. We really did come together as strangers and leave as eternal friends. No matter how long we go without talking, for most of us it doesn't matter.. we can pick up exactly where we left off. I love you guys!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Thu, 19 May 2005 02:22:43 GMT

Okay, no more surveys for a while...The past few days have been hectic. I started a summer class *Physical Science* at Southern Monday. Well, I was a little nervous lol since I had never taken a class there, well... there is only 2 other ppl in my class. Marquita and John Ryan. This should really be a fun couple of weeks *lol*.

In other news, I got my stitches taken out and some other new technology things put in. *keep your fingers crossed* I just want this to heal!! That's all I'm asking! I know it will scar but geez lol

I've realized something... the more you try to understand people, the chances of you understanding them decrease. Wierd huh? But it's true. I try and try to understand my friends, only to find I don't know or understand them at all. Maybe they feel the same way about me? Heck, I dont' even understand mysefl half the time lol.

So anyway, it feels good to be back home. Justin, Justin, Baisden!! I MISSES YOU! call me! lol. i haven't talked to you in like 3 days but it feels like an eternity! hahahah

Monday, May 16, 2005

Mon, 16 May 2005 02:33:23 GMT

Woot for lists!

1. What time did you get up this morning? 8:30 am

2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds are a gurls best friend

 3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Monster in Law

4. What is your favorite TV show? Desperate Housewives

5. What did you have for breakfast? BLT

6. What is your middle name? Elizabeth

7. Favorite cuisine? probably mexican

8. What foods do you dislike? seafood

9. What is your favorite color? Pink & orange

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment?  My burnt one!

11. What kind of car do you drive? Cutlas

12. Favorite sandwich? I guess anything w/ ham and cheese

13. What characteristic do you despise? People who are 2 faced  & not sincere.   

14. Favorite item of clothing? My holey A& F jeans
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation,

      where would you go?   Africa
16.  What color is your bathroom?  White

17. Favorite brand of clothing?  Whatever looks cute on me

18. Where would you retire to? not sure
19. Favorite time of the day? Night
20. What was your most memorable birthday? my sweet 16

21. Where were you born? Charleston

22. Favorite sport to watch? football, cheerleading
23. Who is your best friend? Lindsay, Ashley, Tarn, or Crisa, or Justin, or Wilson.. Thats about all my friends right there in a nutshell lol

24. What quality do you most want in a friend?

     loyalty & a comfort level

25. What fabric detergent do you use? Who knows lol I don't do laundry

27. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night

28. What is your shoe size?  7

29. Do you have any pets? My doggy Buddy! I'm still not sure what he is

30. Have you ever had a friend go out with one of your

      ex-boyfriends?  nah

31. What did you want to be when you were little? just like Barbara Walters

     32. What are you doing today? going to work at 9
33. I hate it most when:     I feel like I"m going to fail\

34. What do you hope most to accomplish in life? be happy

35. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? a CNN Legal Correspondant working out of Atlanta

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Sun, 15 May 2005 03:22:46 GMT

1) Copy this list into your journal.
2) Bold what is true.
3) Leave plain what is false.
4) If you're not sure, or the answer is complicated, put it in italics.
5) Add something at the end.

Okay I can't figure out how to bold it so i'm putting smiley faces beside the true ones!!

001.I miss someone right now. :)
002. I watch more tv now than last year.
003. I love olives.
004. I love sleeping. :)
005. I own a home.
006. I wear glasses or contact lenses. :)
007. I love to play video games.
008. I have done something illegal. :)
009. I have watched porn movies.
010. I have been in a threesome.
011. I have been the "psycho ex" in a past relationship.
012. I like my handwriting. :)
013. I have acne-free skin. :)
014. I curse frequently.      :)
015. I have changed a lot over the past year. :) :) :)
016. I have a hobby. :)
017. I have been to another country.
018. I carry a weapon with me everywhere I go. **DOes Mase Count?**
019. I have been told that I am very smart. :)
020. I have broken a bone.
021. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal
022. I love rain.
023. I can be paranoid at times.
024. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
025. I need money right now :)
026. I have tried sushi.
027. I have been to Las Vegas.
028. I have at least one brother and/or sister.
029. I was born in a country other than the USA.
030. I shave my legs. :)
031. I have a twin.
032. I have Caller I.D. on my phone. :)
033. I am good at styling other people's hair. :)
034. I am usually pessimistic.
035. I have mood swings.
036. I think prostitution should be legalized.
037. I think Britney Spears is pretty.
038. I have cheated on a significant other.
039. I have a hidden talent. :)
040. I have been sexually intimate with more than ten people.
041. I am currently single. :)
042. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
043. I enjoy talking on the phone. :)
044. I love to shop. :)
045. I would classify myself as "ghetto".
046. I am obsessed with my Xanga :)

047. I don't hate anyone.
048. I am a good dancer. :)
049. I am embarrassed to be seen with my mother or father. :) with my father.
050. I have a cell phone. :)
051. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
052. I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
053. I have been in a real relationship :)
054. I have rejected someone before. :)
055. I currently have a crush on someone. :)
056. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
057. I want to have children in the future. :)
058. I have changed a diaper.
059. I have had the cops called on me. :)
060. I bite my nails. :)
061. I am fatally allergic to something.
062. I have a lot to learn. :)
063. I have dated someone 10 years (or more) older or younger than me.
064. I am very shy around the opposite sex.
065. I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
066. I have been rejected by someone.
067. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
068. I have avoided work to play with my Xanga.
069. I, as a child, learned "the difference between boys and girls" with a neighbor or friend.
070. I enjoy country music. :) :) :)
071. I love my friends. :):):):):
072. I think that Pizza Hut makes the best pizza.
073. I watch soap operas on a regular basis.
074. I am a perfectionist. :)
075. I love Michael Jackson - scandals and all.
076. I have watched the television show "Spongebob Squarepants" :)
077. I have dated a close friend's ex. :)
078. I am content as of this moment. :)
079. I have gone scuba diving.
080. I have had a crush on somebody I have never met.
081. I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn't.& :)
082. I play a musical instrument. :) :) :)
083. I strongly dislike math. :) :) :):
084. I am procrastinating by filling out this list.
085. I own and use a library card.
086. I have been to Europe.
087. I have seen "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy.
088. I have seen the television show "The O.C."
089. I am resentful that I have to grow up.
090. I like eating Ramen noodles.
091. I think the world would be a better place if people just smiled more often.:):):):)
092. I am currently suffering of a broken heart.
093. I consider myself to be a "nerd".
094. I am left handed.
095. I have had sex with someone I was not in a relationship with.
096. I enjoy smoothies.
097. I have had major surgery.
098. I have a pet. :) :)
099. I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor
100. I own 100 CDs or more.
101. I am currently in my pajamas. :)
102. I have a tendency to fall for the "wrong" girl/guy. :)( :) :)
103. I will try anything once. :)
104. I have tried a drug that is illegal.
105. I am a cuddler.&:)
106. I have one or more body parts that are asymmetrical.
107. I am a Republican.
108. I am Catholic.
109. I am a college student. :)
110. I like to cook.:)
111. I like to vacuum.
112. I collect picture frames.:)
113. I get along with my parents...I get along with my mom
114. I like Shakespeare.
115. I like to sing.:)::):)
116. I practice a religion that is not considered "mainstream".
117. I have counted down the days until the summer.:)
118. I have fulfilled someone's dare at a party or gathering.
119. I am, or was, pigeon-toed.
120. I have been to an anime convention.
121. I have a hard time paying attention at school.
122. I have a car. :)
123. I am an only child. :)
124. I work at a job that I enjoy. :)
125. I sleep a lot during the day.
126. I like the taste of blood.
127. I have swum in the ocean.:)
128. I know how to shoot a gun.:)
129. I like being the center of attention. :)
130. I am currently pregnant.
131. I have watched "Sex and the City". :)
132. I am married.
133. I want to get married.
134. I have all my grandparents
135. I am a huge fan of lists.
136. I have had my hair cut within the last week.
137. I enjoy jazz music. :)
138. I am a "morning person".
139. I currently regret something that I have done. :)
140. I have written a story outside of school. :)
144. I love Rammstein.
145. cKy is the best band ever.
146. I admire Marilyn Manson as a photographic/cinematographic artist.
147. I love classical music.:)
148. I think pot should be legalized.
149. I must have ice in my water in order to drink it.
150. I have boxers with sunglasses-wearing ducks.
151. I can pick things up with my toes. :)
152. I think Frank Sinatra is fantastic.
153. It is a triumph in my life to be healthy for a month.
154. I am currently not wearing shoes.:)
155. I am an uncle/aunt to more than one person.
156. I have unusually large/small feet.
157. Have read one or more Star Wars books.
158. I've gone skinny dipping by myself/with other people around at least once.
159. I have gotten in trouble for doing things with neo glowworm candies during truth or dare.
160. At this moment in time, I need to pee.
161. I don't get hangovers
162. I'm listening to music.
163. I have 1 or more tattoos!!!!
164. I <3 pork.
165. I once fell off of a mountain.
166. I want to move to New York City one day. :)
167. I hate my job so much that I cry as I get ready for work.168. I have had more then 10 cans of pop today
169. I have kissed more than 50 people in my life

170. I have received a standing ovation for performing rock music for at least 2,000 people.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Sat, 14 May 2005 03:34:40 GMT

........... I don't know where to begin 2nite.. It was an emotional night..... Me, Sam, Berf, Rebekah, Matt and Matt and a few others sang at the choir performance tonight. It brought back memories,... soo many memories, both good and bad, but nevertheless...memories.

Sam and Bethany sang "For Good." Sam had tol dme about that song because she dedicated it to Anna.. That song couldn't have been more perfect for Anna. wow.... I kept my composure together while they sang and also while we sang. I'm getting good at that. But every tear duct in my eye was crying out for Anna... They did a beautiful job on the song.. God has blessed them with soo much talent, it's unreal!

I'm talking on the comp right now to Buck. I need to call Tosh. I miss that boy lol even though its only been a day without talking to him. it jsut seems routine, or something lol i dunno. I miss my Ashley too!! ASHLEY COW< COME BACK

Friday, May 13, 2005

Fri, 13 May 2005 02:57:57 GMT

Okay! a much more happpier entry is WELL OVERDUE!

So, let me tell you about my moving out experience. This semester, as you can pretty much tell, was the death of me emotionally lol. I was soo excited last Thrusday to come home. I had my car packed up and ready to go and everything; I had even told my RA to come up and check me out. I was ready. Well, one of my roommates disposed of a broken ceramic soap dispensar. That particular item ended up cutting my leg, sending me to the hospital to get stitches. Happy Moving Out Day for me! hahaha.. It did give me a week off of work though!

I got my grades yesterday! Praise God! All my work paid off this semester. This is the first time I can truly say I'm proud of my grades. ANDD I got an A in the Parthenon. I swear, I could have failed every thing and got my A and still been the happiest girl in the world. And even better news, I get to keep my Promise Scholarship! 2 more years to go! I can do it.

Ya know, I've been thinking alot. People really are two faced around here. Don't act like you care about me to my face then talk junk behind my back. I've never been like that a day in my life and I expect the same respect to be given to me. Secondly, don't just disapear. If you're my friend, be there when I need you. Friendship is a two way street, and quite frankly, it gets old after a long period of time. I have feelings too!

hmm, soo I'm supposed to sing at the CMS thing tomorrow. Ms. AHger emailed me about singing The Prayer with Sam and Bethany, but looks like I've been unincluded! OH well! That kinda hurt my feelings and made me feel like horse crap, but who cares!